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"Blessed are the cracked for they shall let the light in" ~Groucho Marx
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3 tamagotchi’s


What the hell

this is triggering me please tag your spiders



today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

working in customer service

(via gothambeat)


escalators are better than elevators because when escalators break they turn into stairs but when elevators break they turn into vertical coffins

(via hi-im--ali)





One of these women is despised and hated for being awkward.
The other is applauded and worshipped for the exact same reason.
I know other factors come into play.
But something isn’t right there.

ones an extrovert and ones an introvert voila la différence

One had to portray a disaster of a character, one didn’t

Both were doing their jobs as actresses. One was better written.



Noel Fielding is standing, dressed in an apron, on the set of his E4 show. A bijou Hawaiian coffee shop has been meticulously re-created inside a vast warehouse at Three Mills Studio and as we watch from behind the monitor, the show’s star, in character as the proprietor of the Luxury Coffee Shop on the side of a volcano, breaks off from the action, turns to camera and attempts to explain the plot of the episode thus far: “OK, so let’s get this straight. Because I chose to set the coffee shop in Hawaii on the edge of a volcano, I now have to sacrifice one of my characters to the volcano. Otherwise, the locals, who are the cast of Magnum PI, will sacrifice me. I mean, who wrote this?” Welcome to the freaky world of Noel Fielding. (via Noel Fielding’s ‘Luxury Comedy’: A land of the outright bizarre)

He saw Julian for his birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE happiness :D

 ”Julian and I are still very good mates. He lives in the next block from me. I saw him on Sunday for his birthday. His kids are always singing my Monkey Edwards song, which drives Julian mad. It’s hilarious. His kids are constantly asking him, ‘Dad, when are you going to work with that weird one again?’”